I once abandoned Scripture.

Nearly a year ago, in early spring, I wanted to learn absolutely everything about New Testament Corinth. I wanted some ammo. Some rebuttal for an aggressive few Scripture references that would surely be coming my way.


I checked out several books and prepared to live with my nose in them for as long as it took. But, instead of doing this, I gave up studying the Bible for several months.


I had noticed a fiery rage that surfaced whenever I thought about the expertise I would acquire, about how right I would be and how wrong others would be. My heart was beginning to callous. I was in danger of becoming very closed-minded, very incapable of entering the overarching conversation in a way that honors a Savior who simply asks that I love God and love others.

Disgusted with myself, I returned the books. I was so ashamed of my behaviour. I couldn't believe what I had nearly become, and in the name of Jesus!


I didn't stop reading, though. I checked out a book called Love Is an Orientation by Andrew Marin. His organization, The Marin Foundation, based in Boystown, Chicago, works to build bridges between the religious and LGBT communities. Marin advocates for "elevating the conversation" above theological debates and towards finding good ways to love people.


Loving people. Time and time again, no matter the topic, this is what my understanding of God's will for me boils down to.


I am so weak in my attempts, though. When Christians do not practice love, I loathe them, and their poor reflection of Christ. What hypocrisy I show -- in this attitude, I become the very thing I hate. Oh, that my actions would match my words! Lord, have mercy on me in all of my failed attempts at love without condition.